Hi all and welcome back! It’s been quite a while since I’ve written, and to be honest, I’ve had a version of this post written for a long time. It is highly personal, which is why I think I’ve subconsciously delayed posting. Through different events and seasons of my life the past couple of years, I believe I have finally began to grasp true faith. That’s something that is beyond hard if you are naturally an obsessive control freak like me, and it took some really tough times for God to teach me that I had to let go. Now, don’t get me wrong! I am still prone to a meltdown or two every now and again, but overall, I’ve come leaps and bounds in relinquishing that control. And it’s the most amazing feeling…..
A couple of years ago, my husband and I decided that it was time to have children. We had been married for a few years, and I think we felt that expectation to make it an immediate part of our plan….God had a different one. We suffered pregnancy losses that (it goes without saying) were extremely difficult, and at the time I of course didn’t understand why. Looking back now, I can see that we probably weren’t really ready, but hind site is 20/20.
It’s hard for me to even tell you all of the ways and how dramatically our lives changed in and after that season. The chain of life-changing events that happened because of that hardship are truly unbelievable now. Without losing you in every little detail, here’s a quick overview. Partly because of the difficulty I was having, my husband decided to leave his career of 10 years because he was constantly traveling, I opened my brick and mortar store, AND we moved. All within less than a year! Want to find a way to make a control freak almost completely unravel? Give her four huge life events in a super short time period. : / It was undoubtably, the hardest year of my life. Surprisingly, it turned out to be a blessing in a big, ugly disguise.
I heard a quote the other day…..”When you have no choice but to turn to God, consider yourself lucky”. The meaning of that isn’t lost on me. Before our pregnancies and these losses, our life was seemingly perfect. My husband had a great job, I didn’t work, we traveled ALL the time without a care in the world and did exactly what we wanted, when we wanted. But truth be told, our life was still empty because we had no real spiritual relationship. God turned our world completely upside down so that he could put it back together. Amongst all the chaos, we had no choice but to trust only in Him. As a result of going through that difficult and crazy season, our marriage has never been stronger, our faith has never been greater, and we now have the most special little girl on the way. Additionally, I have the gift of running this business and my husband is just recently back in his original career field, doing what he loves again. Now, our life isn’t perfect….far from it. But through this whole situation, God taught me (and is somedays still teaching me) to roll with the punches, and to have what pleases Him most…faith.
Believe it or not, looking back, I can actually appreciate the crazy journey. I can see that through the losses, God brought us to a place that I am so thankful for everyday. It taught me to trust God’s timing and His plan, and for a type-A business owner like me, that is priceless. I hope this inspires you to sit back, relax, trust, and to look for God in every situation. P.S. My outfit can of course be found at Golden Hanger (one of the only things I could wear), and my shorts may or may not be buttoned…. : )) Until next time….XO and #staygolden!